Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
