Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize