Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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