Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
