I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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