Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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