Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
