she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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