oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
