I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
