now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
