so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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