ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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