omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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