worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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