Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
