He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
