lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
