I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize