i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
