The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
