Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
