No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
