how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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