I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
