awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
