dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
