No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
