i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
