A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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