Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize