why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
