Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
