Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
