He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
