I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
