Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
