More tranny stories later!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
