so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Welp...herpes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
