I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
