READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
