Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
