I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
