Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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