I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
