Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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