He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
