you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
