I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
