I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Blood and glitter go together right?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
