it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
