have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
