have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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