I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
