i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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