He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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