Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
