jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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