Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
