I'm going to rape someone's good day.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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