Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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