i wish there were pregnant emoticons
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
