I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
