garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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